


Wings

by winchester_7983



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depressed Castiel, Destiel if you squint - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scars, Tattoos, Wings, fallen!cas, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8259836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchester_7983/pseuds/winchester_7983
Summary: Castiel has fallen, his wings and grace ripped away. He mopes around the bunker all day, refusing to speak to either of the Winchesters. After finally getting out of the bunker one day, Cas walks past a small shop and has an idea.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on artwork done by rdjpwns on tumblr. Click the hyperlink in the text to access the image. You can follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel, where you'll find more of my works.

Dean knocked on Cas’ bedroom door, opening it slightly when there was no answer. The room was completely dark, the only source of light coming from the hallway. Dean entered the room, squinting as he adjusted to the darkness. He could barely make out Cas’ form on the bed, curled up on his side and wrapped in the covers. Dean sat on the edge of the bed, trying to determine if Cas was sleeping or not. Eyes having adjusted better to the dark, Dean could see two eyes peeking out, staring at the wall in front of him. He cleared his throat.

“Heya, buddy. You hanging in there?”

“I would think that my current state would be an accurate description as to how I am ‘hanging,’ Dean.” Cas’ voice was rough, sounding as if he hadn’t used it in days.

Dean sighed. “Cas, you can’t just stay cooped up in here forever. And you’ve gotta eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Cas, you’ve been in here for two days. You’re gonna get sick if you don’t eat something soon.”

There was a muffled groan and some shifting in the blankets. “Ok.”

Dean smiled weakly. “Ok. I’ve got some burgers in the kitchen. Just the way you like ‘em.” He got up and walked towards the door, standing in the frame. “Come get some when you’re ready.” He left the room, leaving the door open.

Cas sighed, throwing the covers off the bed and slowly sitting up. His muscles ached from being in the same position for two days, and his joints cracked as he stood. His back ached dully, and he tried to ignore the pain. Pulling on a robe that Dean had lent him, he shuffled towards the kitchen, head pounding as he adjusted to the light.

Sam was sitting in the library reading a book, and looked up when Cas walked in. He smiled.

“Hey, Cas. Nice to see you up and around.”

Castiel mumbled a ‘thanks’ before heading to the kitchen, where Dean was sitting at the table, eating a burger. Cas took the seat opposite him, pulling his plate towards him and taking a small bite from his burger. He chewed slowly, savoring the taste. He had never really been able to appreciate Dean’s cooking before, but now he understood why Dean was so proud of his cooking. His stomach grumbled, and he took another bite.

Dean looked up at him expectantly. “Good?”

Cas nodded around another bite. “Thank you, Dean.”

The older Winchester just smiled, and the two continued eating in silence.

* * *

 A few days later, Cas was wandering aimlessly around town, Sam and Dean finally convincing him to get out of the bunker for a day. It was mid September, and the cold air nipped at Cas’ nose. He pulled the sleeves of the coat Dean lent him over his hands, trying to keep them warm. His breath formed in small puffs as he walked down the street, stopping to look in a shop window every now and then. He had a small amount of money with him, Sam insisting he buy something for himself while he was out. But so far, nothing had caught Cas’ eye. He walked for a few hours, finally deciding he had been out for long enough, and turned around to head back towards the bunker. As he walked back, a small shop on a corner caught his eye. He crossed the street and looked in the window, eyes wandering across the interior. An idea crossed his mind, and he checked to see how much money he had. Just enough. He walked in, the door jingling as he opened it. His back tingled and he told the man at the counter what he wanted.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Cas would leave the bunker around the same time every thursday, coming back after a few hours. The Winchesters wondered what he was doing, but let him be. If he was going out without them having to nag him, then good. It was only a few weeks after his trips began that Dean finally decided to speak up. He and Sam were in the war room, drinking some beers when Cas returned from his weekly outing. He walked quickly, looking nervous, trying to get to his room as fast as possible, but Dean stopped him.

“Hey man, how are you?”

Cas froze, not turning around. “I am alright. Thank you for asking.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, nervous. “I’m going to my room now.” He briskly made his way down the hall, his door slamming shut.

Dean sent a questioning look Sam’s way, who just shrugged. “He’s not going to talk to me.”

Dean sighed, setting down his beer and making his way to Cas’ room. He knocked quietly.

“Cas?” He opened the door and walked in, only to see Cas shirtless, staring at his back in a mirror. Dean’s heart fell. “Cas, I thought you said you weren’t gonna-” His voice caught as he saw Cas’ back, who was trying to get his shirt back on to hide it. But Dean had already seen.

He swallowed thickly as he slowly walked towards Cas, who was staring at the floor, playing with the hem of his sleeve. Dean stopped right in front of him, heart pounding.

“Let me see.”

Castiel shook his head, still refusing to meet his friend’s gaze.

“Cas.” Dean spoke in a whisper, almost inaudible. Cas looked up into his eyes, soft but clouded with pain. “Let me see.”

Cas sighed, and slowly slid his shirt back off, turning around. Dean’s breath hitched and he held back a gasp at what he was seeing.

Sprouting from the scars where his wings used to be, spreading past his shoulders and down his arms, were [wings](http://rdjpwns.tumblr.com/post/77742031701/wing-tattoos-by-rdjpwns-facebook-twitter). They were tattooed in dark ink, starting in a dark grey and ending in a deep black at the tips. Each feather was crafted with intricate detail, some areas of the skin still raised where the most recent work had been done. Dean reached one hand out and gently lay it on one of the scars. Cas tensed at the cool touch but didn’t move away. Dean closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice even.

“This is where you’ve been going?”

Cas turned around, shrugging his shirt back on but keeping his head down. “Yes.” Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Once a week, every week for the past two months.”

Dean dragged a hand over his face, looking up at Cas. “Did it hurt?”

“Yes.” Cas wasn’t going to lie. “More than I thought it would. Not as much as having my wings ripped out, granted,” Dean cringed. “But it did hurt.” Cas looked up. “Are you mad?”

Dean huffed a humorless laugh. “Cas, why would I be mad?” He sighed. “I just-” His voice was laced with sadness. “Why?”

Blue eyes filled with tears, painfully staring back. “I just wanted to feel like an angel again.”

Dean hurt when he saw the amount of pain in his friend’s eyes. “Cas.”

Cas let out a strangled cry, and in a split second the hunter had moved forward and was holding the former angel in his arms. Cas shook in his arms, body wracking sobs tearing him apart. Dean blinked away at the burning behind his eyes. He had to be brave. For Cas.


End file.
